How to Keep a Correspondence Friendship Engaging With Shared Games Between Letters
A small game can give an ongoing letter exchange a shared thread: one person sends a puzzle, prompt, or paper game state, and the other makes the next move in their reply. Keep the rules short, make each turn easy to record, and agree that either person can pause or stop. This guide focuses on games that travel inside ordinary physical letters, with examples you can start on a sheet of paper.
Agree on a game that fits your letters
Before sending a game, ask whether your friend would enjoy trying one. A line such as “Would you like to add a tiny word game to our next few letters? No pressure if you’d rather keep letters as they are” makes the invitation clear and easy to decline. If they say yes, choose something that needs only a pen and the paper you already plan to send.
A good first game has a simple objective, one clear move per turn, and a natural place to stop. Avoid rules that depend on fast replies, a fixed schedule, special materials, or remembering several hidden details. Mail delivery and writing habits vary, so treat the game as something to pick up when each letter is ready—not as a timed exchange.
A useful pattern is to send one move or puzzle, leave enough information for the other person to continue, and invite them to return the result with their next letter. A 1980s letter-writing guide describes playing chess by post with each person keeping a board and mailing either a written move or an updated paper board; it also suggests checkers and tic-tac-toe. The same basic handoff works for simpler games: preserve the current state, identify whose turn comes next, and send that state along. Fun with Letters (ERIC)
Start with games that travel well on paper
Word-search swap. Draw a modest grid, choose a shared theme such as garden plants or favorite snacks, and hide a short list of words in it. Include the word list if you want a straightforward puzzle, or keep it for your next letter if you both prefer guessing. When the puzzle returns, circle the answers and send a new theme or ask your friend to make the next one. A published letter-writing guide gives the same basic sequence: make a grid, place themed words, send the puzzle, and reveal or check answers in a later letter. Fun with Letters (ERIC)
One-line story chain. Add one sentence to a shared story, then leave a prompt or a detail the next writer can pick up. For instance, your first turn might end: “At the station, a blue suitcase began to hum.” Your friend can decide what happens next, and you continue from there. Keep turns short—one or two sentences—and agree whether the story should be silly, mysterious, or simply whatever comes to mind. A variant of the parlour game Consequences has players contribute different story elements in sequence, folding the page to conceal earlier contributions; for a two-person postal version, visible story-building is usually easier to follow than trying to hide a page across separate letters. Cambridge Tolkien Society, “Parlour Games”
Draw-and-caption exchange. Make a small doodle from a neutral prompt—“a teapot with an unusual job,” for example—and invite your friend to add a caption or a detail in their reply. They can send it back for your next addition. Keep the drawing area compact and use the same paper if you want the picture to evolve, or copy the current version into each letter if you prefer to keep your original. This is a flexible format rather than a formal game: name the next action so both people know what counts as a turn.
Riddle relay. Send one riddle and leave the answer out. Your friend can write a guess and include a new riddle for you. In the next letter, reveal the answer to your riddle, respond to theirs, and continue only if both still enjoy it. The postal letter-writing guide also describes exchanging riddles and answers in later letters, making this a particularly simple game to try. Fun with Letters (ERIC)
Make the handoff unmistakable
A game turn should make sense even if your friend has not looked at the previous envelope recently. Add a small “Game” note near the end of the letter with four details: the game name, whose turn it is, the current state, and what to send back. For example: “Word-search swap, round 2. I found ‘pear’ and ‘plum’; can you circle any others and choose our next theme?” For a story chain: “Your turn: add one or two sentences after the humming suitcase.”
For a board or grid game, label rows and columns or draw a fresh clean copy after each move. Record moves in plain language—“B2 to B3,” for instance—and say which player uses which symbol or color. A formal correspondence-chess rulebook defines remote moves as transmitted between players and includes provisions for recording moves in non-server games; the practical lesson for a casual paper game is to write each move clearly and keep a stable record. You do not need tournament rules for a friendly exchange. ICCF, Laws of Correspondence Chess
Include only the clues your friend needs for their next action. If a puzzle relies on an answer key or a hidden word, say that the answer will come in the following letter. If you send a game sheet, keep a copy or photograph of the state before mailing it so you can reconstruct the turn if the paper gets misplaced. This is a practical safeguard, not a requirement; for a tiny game, simply copying the grid into your next letter may be easier.
Keep the game light enough to fit the correspondence
A game should be an addition to the letter, not a replacement for it. Write the ordinary news or observations you wanted to share, then include the move as a small extra. That lets either of you reply to the letter without feeling that every envelope must advance the game.
Match the game’s size to your usual letters. A single riddle, one story sentence, or a small word grid is easier to answer than a sprawling campaign with multiple pieces and exceptions. If a game is taking more room than expected, simplify it together: shorten turns, remove scoring, or choose an endpoint such as three rounds or one completed story.
Make pacing explicit. You might say, “Reply whenever it fits your next letter; I’m happy for this to take as long as it takes.” That removes the assumption of a deadline. If one person skips a turn, the other can carry on with the usual letter and wait rather than sending reminders or treating the game as overdue.
Offer clear ways to pause, change, or finish
A relaxed game includes an easy exit. When proposing it, mention that either person can skip a turn, change the rules, or stop without needing to explain. During play, a simple “Let’s pause this one here” is enough. You can also set a planned finish from the start: “Let’s do one puzzle each” or “We’ll add four lines apiece and then read the whole story.”
If the format becomes awkward, name the friction and suggest one adjustment. A dense grid may be hard to copy; switch to a riddle. A story may have grown too tangled; write a closing sentence and call it done. A game can also remain unfinished. Send a friendly note that the letters can continue without it, then return to the usual exchange.
A simple first-turn plan
To begin, ask whether your friend wants a small game in the next letter. If they agree, pick a riddle relay or a short themed word search, explain the one action they should take, and state how the handoff works. Put the current state or answer key somewhere you can find it, and avoid setting a reply deadline.
After their reply, respond to the game in a sentence or two, then write the next move only if it still feels enjoyable to both of you. The aim is a shared paper activity that gives each letter a small point of continuity while leaving room for everything else you want to say.